Do you find yourself pinching pennies in these tough economic times? Of course you do! We’re in a recession, man, a recession! I bet you find yourself cutting corners whenever you want to splurge on some good, quality entertainment. Why, I bet you even frequent reality TV shows for entertainment purposes. Is that not disgusting (unless, of course, there’s a Muppet appearance).
Luckily for you, The Muppet Mindset is here for you and your family’s Muppet needs in these hard times. We know it may seem unwise to spend your hard earned dollars on a life-size accurate replica of Rizzo instead of food for your children, but we here at the Mindset want to give you the opportunity to do both. Yes, by saving money using our patent-pending system of steps, you can have your Rizzo fix and your kids can eat too (unless you just don’t want them to… in which case I might have to call child services).
Below is our step-by-step guide on cutting corners and saving money when buying your Muppety goodies.
5.) MAKE YOUR OWN HALLOWEEN COSTUME
We here at The Muppet Mindset understand your desire to dress as your favorite Muppet to go trick-or-treating with your kids and embarrass the heck out of them, but we also understand your desire to not spend upwards of $50 on a single costume for one day of the year. No amount of embarrassing your kids is worth that–especially when the costumes don’t look that great.
Instead, why not make your own costume? Imagine the fun you and your family will have costuming each member as a different obscure Muppet character! Imagine… Dad as Sweetums, Mom as Hilda the Wardrobe Lady, Son as Lew Zealand, Daughter as Annie Sue Pig, and even Schnookums the family dog as Big Mean Carl (Rowlf would just be too easy). The beauty of each of these costumes is that they can be made just from objects lying around the house. Sweetums is just the brown living room rug cut up and draped around Dad, I’m sure Mom has some clothes just like Hilda’s lying around somewhere, a dabble of Rogaine on Son’s lip will have him sprouting a Lew Zealand mustache in no time, Daughter just needs a quick perm, and Schnookums can just be wrapped in that ugly bath rug.
Not only have you saved money, but you’ve spent quality time with your family as well! And isn’t that what Halloween is all about?
4.) DON’T GO TO THE MOVIES
Why should you? With the rising prices of movie tickets and the decreasing amount of Muppets in movies, what’s the point? You might as well save up your money so that when The Cheapest Muppet Movie Ever Made or Fraggle Rock: The Movie are finally released in theaters, you can spend all the money you would’ve spent seeing movies now on tickets to see these movies at every available showtime the day they’re released!
Although if enough people completely boycott seeing movies in favor of this idea, it could cause a complete destruction of the film industry and then Disney and Lionsgate wouldn’t have enough to produce either movie therefore making any effort to save money to see them completely useless… Well, maybe you should still see some movies. Might I recommend a nice Disney feature?
3.) DON’T BUY INDIVIDUAL COMIC BOOKS
Every month, BOOM! Studios releases a Muppet comic book or two. Later this month we’re slated to receive “The Treasure of Peg-Leg Wilson” #4 and “Muppet Peter Pan” #2, but why buy individual books when you can just wait for the trade paperbacks containing all four issues of the series? (If you’re like me, you just have to have the individual issues for collector purposes… but thankfully not too many people are like me.)
If you find that the wait for these might kill you, perhaps you and your family can draw your own interpretations of the Muppet comic books. Draw what you think might happen, then when they’re finally released you can compare notes and possibly sue BOOM! for infringing on your story rights without permission! See? You’re even making money with this one!
2.) GET A JOB
If you really can’t afford a $3 comic book once a month, perhaps you should consider getting a job? Not that I really have room to talk… but hey, I’m in school! I don’t have time for a job! What’s that? How do I have time to update the Mindset daily? …Look! A squirrel!
1.) SELL EVERYTHING THAT ISN’T MUPPET RELATED
If you find yourself so desperate and starved for Muppet stuff, it’s time to find a pawn shop. Such frivolities as desk chairs, pillows, winter coats, and can openers aren’t needed in lives so fulfilled by Muppet goodness. Sell these items and you’ll soon find yourself with enough spending money to purchase any sort of Muppet thing you could want! Just… don’t sell your computer and remember to check The Muppet Mindset everyday!
This has been a special Muppet Mindset financial aid report! We don’t really condone doing any of these things (except perhaps getting a job), so please don’t sue us when they don’t work or when your dog channels Big Mean Carl and eats a bunny rabbit whole.
As always, keep your eye on The Muppet Mindset for exciting updates every day!