Hello my delightful
captive audience! It is I, The British C, with another delicious article filling in which your true blog-host, Ryan is away. (Note to self: Is a Blog-Host anything at all like a Hog-Roast…and would it not be ever such fun to hold a Blog-Host-Hog-Roast?)
Well, today I am still posting from Ryan’s House…and I know what you are thinking: Is he really at Ryan’s house? Or is he posting this from an internet cafe somewhere near Brighton? Well, obviously I can neither confirm nor deny those malicious rumours that I am not where I say I am (or who I say I am). But did you really think I’d make it that obvious? Tsk tsk.
Another thing you must note at this time is that although Ryan may have given me free run of the house and let me borrow the Intern, I do not necessarily have access to his limitless supply of Muppet Pictures…so do try to make sense of these ones.Consider it ‘art’, for example, that Beaker here represents both Mock Swedes and Squirrels.
Today I am honoured (?) to present an interview with one of the most important parts of the Muppet process. Sure, there’s the Muppeteers, who are vital to the Muppets. There are the writers and artists who are simply irreplaceable (Oh, except that one that DID get replaced…) Okay, from now on there are writers and artists who are simply irreplaceable. There are the producers and directors and such who make the Muppets what they are today. All of these are important…but without the person being interviewed today, the Muppets would no longer exist. I’m talking about none other than…
Everyday, common or garden, semi-anonymous Muppet fans.
Here, for your reading pleasure, is an interview with Semi-Anonymous Muppet Fan #1.
Semi-Anonymous Muppet Fan Interview
TBC: First of all, SAMF I want to just thank you for taking the time to do this interview with us. Is there anything you would like to say to our readers before we begin?
SAMF: Yes yes! I think it’s amazing that I of all people was asked to be in this interview! I’m so happy to be here, you wouldn’t believe it! Also, these muffins are great. (Note: You can find some rather
dubious delicious Kermit Cupcakes here.) (Also note: The Mindset cannot vouch for the content of any external sites linked during this interview process. Although we’ve checked and they seem fine to us!)
TBC: Can you tell us a little about yourself?
SAMF: Well, I’m an art student, so that says a lot. I don’t like cheese but I think squirrels are terribly fascinating. Not to eat, just to look at. Um, and mermaids are cool as well. (Note: To see the Swedish Chef attempting to make Squirrel Stew, click here.)
TBC: Are you aware you have something stuck in your teeth?
SAMF: Oh oops… It’s not a bit of squirrel fur, I swear! Right, ahem, never mind. On you go.
TBC: When did you first become aware of the Muppets?
SAMF: When I was tiny I used to watch Sesame Street all the time when I visited my grandparents. I didn’t actually know of the whole Muppet thing until way later, though, when a friend of mine suddenly became obsessed. She used to be in love with Gobo, you see, so when they started showing old reruns of Fraggle Rock on TV it all came back to her and of course the first thing she did was google who made it and tada – Jim Henson appeared. Over the next few months she joined forums all over the place, bought Muppet Movies and of course got me sucked into the whole thing. Must have been about 15 or 16 at the time.
TBC: Have you ever heard of the Banana Sketch?
SAMF: Why yes, yes I have. Not the actual Banana Sketch, mind you, but some joke someone made about it years ago on a Muppet forum. To me it’s a legend although I’ve never even found out what it really is all about.
TBC: You mean you DON’T know the Banana sketch? Well, maybe I should tell you now…You see there’s two bananas and they…Oh, it’s too funny, I’ll tell you later. (Note: To see the Swedish Chef make a Banana Split, click here.) So, do you have a favourite Muppet?
TBC: Would you care to elaborate?
SAMF: Well, whenever someone asks me, I’ll say the Cookie Monster. The other day I was wearing my Cookie Monster t-shirt (I love it!) and someone at uni asked me who it was. I was shocked! How they’d never even heard of Sesame Street is beyond me. I haven’t really watched it myself since I was a kid so I can only really remember bits of it, but seriously, never having heard of it? That’s just weird. (Note: To ‘C’ Cookie Monster, click here.)
TBC: Do you feel that Sesame Street is vital in the creation of a culture where furry-creatures and humans can get along?
SAMF: As I said, I don’t remember much of it, only these little things like the two headed monster (which probably has a proper name) scaring me, the Count counting things and Elmo being Elmo. Oh, and of course Bert and Ernie. Actually, when I think about it, they might very well be my favourite Muppets. Anyway, to answer your question, I don’t even remember them interacting with humans.
TBC: Can you tell me how to get to Sesame Street?
SAMF: I’m sure little me would have told you something like, “Go through the secret gate in the garden, through the forest and then on the other side of that, there’s a secret path to it”. But then again, I might just have made that up.
TBC: Have you ever dreamed about Muppets?
SAMF: I seem to be able to recall a dream I had where I went to see them live on stage and I think Fozzie was sitting next to me on one side and Gonzo with some chickens on the other side. I’m not entirely sure what happened.
TBC: Have you ever dreamed about Angus McGonagle the Argyle Gargoyle?
SAMF: No, never.
TBC: While we are on the subject of dreams, have you ever dreamed about other celebrities?
SAMF: Ahem. Yes. No, I’m not blushing. I’d tell you about them but actually I think even just a list of their names would be too long to publish in an interview and since most of them are British celebrities, I’m not sure the American readers would know many of them anyway. Let’s just say I’ve had my share of celebrity dreams.
TBC: If you ever dreamt about Labyrinth, would you be able to get out?
SAMF: I haven’t dreamt about that yet, but the dream would most probably just skip to something else or make me wake up when I got too frustrated.
TBC: How do you respond to the following word: Phenomenon.
SAMF: Do do do do do. Don’t we all?
TBC: On the subject of Muppet Music, how important do you feel that Music is to the Muppets?
SAMF: Very. What would be the point of Muppet songs without the music?
TBC: Would you ever eat Singing Food? How about Food made of Wax?
SAMF: Aww, no, I love singing food. So cute! Especially the Cabbage. It’s my favourite. (Note: To see Singing Food…well, sing…click here.)
TBC: If you were a Muppet, what would you look like?
SAMF: Awesome! Probably way awesomer than the alter ego I used to have. I mean really, I wouldn’t pick a Doozer these days. I think I’d be something cute but a bit weird. Possibly with quite long fur, maybe brown or dark purple or even dark red. Ah yes, little cute ball of long purple and red fur, big round eyes and everything else hidden by the fur.
TBC: Who’s your tailor, I love that outfit.
SAMF: Really, this old rag? I designed the t-shirt myself, actually.
TBC: Can you picture that?
SAMF: Oh yes, I have a photographic memory. Not really, but I do like taking pictures.
TBC: Why are there so many songs about rainbows?
SAMF: Rainbows, love, strawberries, they’re just great.
TBC: If Kermit was a lollipop, what flavour would he be?
TBC: If you found a Fraggle Hole in your house, what would you do?
SAMF: At first I’d probably wonder if it was a badger and how it got in. Then I’d realise what it really was and send them some postcards. (Note: To see a postcard explain Strange Bouncy Things, click here.) (Also note: It really is a postcard from Uncle Travelling Matt, trust us.)
TBC: Have you ever dressed up as a Giant Radish?
SAMF: No, but I’ve dressed up as a giant flower, a giant mobile phone, a palm tree and a cute little elf sitting on a mushroom. Among other things.
TBC: You’ve never dressed as a Giant Radish? Why ever not?
SAMF: Well, it just never occurred to me.
TBC: Okay, thank you so much, SAMF. That’s all we have time for today, but do you have anything else that you want to say to the Muppet Watching Public (MWP’s)?
SAMF: Keep watching! And keep away from squirrels.
TBC: One final question then, what is your favourite breakfast food?
SAMF: Something with lots of fresh fruit and maybe yogurt. Unless I’m in the mood for a Full English.
TBC: Well…actually, I am mostly English myself…maybe we should go and get some breakfast…
The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier