The British Correspondent Interviews… Someone?

Hey there, Muppet fans. So a few weeks ago, The British Correspondent (yes, he’s still alive) sent me an email telling me that he had made contact with someone deeply ingrained in Jason Segel’s personal life–someone who is really hands-on in Jason’s career. This excited me, of course, and I immediately typed up a bunch of questions for this insider-source and sent them to TBC to pass along. Well… this is what I got back. Unfortunately, I’ve got nothing better to post for today, so once again The British Correspondent wins the battle… but not the war!!

Ryan, have sent the questions as requested, but have made a few changes to them in order that we can really get to KNOW this person, rather than just asking them ridiculous trivia about some movie. ~ The British Correspondent (TBC)

(Note from Ryan: The pictures were already organized for my questions… so I’m not going to the trouble of finding new ones for TBC’s.)

RYAN: Will Kermit and Miss Piggy get together in the new movie, or at least get a mutual kiss?

TBC (edit): Do you have a favourite colour M&M, or at least mutual respect for one?

Jason’s Masseuse: The red ones always taste best for me because red is color of passion.

RYAN: Can you confirm the other professions of the Muppets since the show, such as Fozzie becoming a radio presenter?

TBC (edit): How many pairs of socks do you own?

Jason’s Masseuse: I am changing them every day with new socks but they are all my own.

RYAN: Is the Janice and Floyd romance back strong for this movie?

TBC (edit): How do you feel about Burger King? Do you prefer it to McDonalds?

Jason’s Masseuse: I feel that Burger King are overrated, but grease from these burgers good for using in massage session sometime.

RYAN: Jason’s character is determined to bring the Muppets back together, does he manage this?

TBC (edit): What is your favourite thing about a BLT sandwich? The B, the L or the T?

Jason’s Masseuse: The Banana, Lettuce, and Tortilla Chip sandwich is always too weird for me, so instead I eat separately not with bread.

RYAN: The Swedish Chef proudly wears a wedding ring these days, were you invited to the wedding?

TBC (edit): How tall are you, exactly?

Jason’s Masseuse: I am exactly five feet and 2 inches.

RYAN: There are several A-list celebrities tied into this movie already, will you tell us which?

TBC (edit): Which Friends character are you most similar to?

Jason’s Masseuse: I am most likened to Chandler from Friends because I am a massage therapist and his job is also a joke.

RYAN: Many Muppet movies involve inventions created by Bunsen Honeydew to save the day (or not), what invention is featured in this movie?

TBC (edit): If you had a pet goldfish, what would it be called?

Jason’s Masseuse: I name him Gunnbjörg.

RYAN: Miss Piggy famously attacks at least one character in most of the Muppet Movies, which characters will she be chopping in this one?

TBC (edit): If you were a kind of animal, what would you be?

Jason’s Masseuse: I am a sealion because I eat many oily fish which help fingers to be smooth and oil-based.

RYAN: Uncle Deadly is rumored to be appearing, will he be good or bad or indifferent?

TBC (edit): Which are cooler, vampires or waeewolves? (i.e. Team Edward or Team Jacob?)

Jason’s Masseuse: I am on Edward in the team because he look like he need a massage to ease out the tension in his strange smooth skins.

RYAN: The Muppets have always relied heavily on music, how many songs can we expect in the new movie?

TBC (edit): What is your karaoke song? Is it Lady Gaga’s “Just Dance”?

Jason’s Masseuse: I always am singing to the karaoke song “Ve Vill Rock Vous” when I am massaging large clients.

RYAN: Will the Great Gonzo appear in any stunts in this movie (and if so, will he use a stand in or do his own stunts?)?

TBC (edit): Who would win in a fight, Superman or Batman?

Jason’s Masseuse: I do not read any literature.

RYAN: You’ve mentioned that Jane Lynch has been confirmed in a cameo appearance–where did you hear this?

TBC (edit): If you changed your name to that of a celebrity, what would it be?

Jason’s Masseuse: My name be Julie Andrews if published in celebrity magazine. This remind me, you will be publishing this interview in large magazine for American readership, what will fee for me be?

RYAN: Well, that’s all the questions we have time for!

TBC (edit): I’m hungry…do you fancy a sandwich?

Jason’s Masseuse: No, no. Eating not do before massaging the puppet-induced tensions of Mister Jasons.

RYAN: Erm… yeah, thanks. I guess.

The Muppet Mindset by Ryan Dosier

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