In case you’ve been living under a rock (possibly dancing your cares away), you’ll know that Disney are currently making a new Muppet show pilot. With a new series underway, we can only hope that some of the more obscure Muppet characters from over the years return. In no particular order…
1 – Calico
Calico is one of my favorite characters from Muppet Treasure Island, purely based on his design alone. He’s such a strange looking character, with the yellowing teeth, the freckles and the baggy eyes. The puppet itself is still around, as it was used in both Muppet’s Wizard of Oz and Muppets Most Wanted. The character would make a great stuffy ABC Executive, with the monocle and the ridiculous hair.
2 – Miss Mousey
Miss Mousey seems like the kind of character that they had high hopes for in the beginning of The Muppet Show, but then faded fast as Miss Piggy became the breakout star. While her appearance and clothing is a little dated and could use updating, she could easily be reintroduced as a friend of the pig, or a possible replacement candidate, seeing as the pilot centers on Miss Piggy’s refusal to partake in the whole thing.
3 – Fleet Scribbler
Fleet Scribbler is one of the most annoying characters in Muppet history. He’s a reporter that fabricates and exaggerates stories, something that has become an even bigger issue since the introduction of the internet (and Brian Williams). Fleet could work for one of those click-bait websites, like BuzzFeed, or The Huffington Post, or ToughPigs (I kid), annoying characters so he can post articles like ’10 Beaker Quotes to Live By’ or ‘The Swedish Chef – You’ll Never Believe What He’s Really Saying!’
4 – Yolanda Rat
The Muppets are crying out for new strong female characters, and with a collection of incredible female puppeteers, there’s no reason that a new Muppet show can’t take full advantage of that. Yolanda has the benefit of not taking any flack from anyone, especially Rizzo. She’s not your typical feminine ‘I need a man’ rat – she’s a true feminist icon! She’s the perfect foil for Rizzo, or really any of those type of characters. I for one think she could be extremely successful if used right.
5 – Baskerville the Hound
Baskerville was used a lot in the background of The Muppet Show, with a few featured roles. He proved to be funny, a good singer, and an all round nice guy. Even if he’s just pottering about in the background, or digging in the studios dumpster, or in the next studio selling Purina Dog Chow, it’s not a Muppet show without Baskerville.
6 – J.P. Grosse
J.P. Grosse was the owner of the Muppet Theatre, and uncle to Scooter. If it wasn’t for him forcing Kermit to give his nephew a job, we wouldn’t have our favorite ‘go-fer’.
Forgetting that in It’s A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie J.P. had passed away, J.P could have mellowed over the years now that the Muppets are out of the theatre, and a family connection for Scooter might be nice. Speaking of which…
7 – Skeeter
Look, I’m not going to bore you with this again. You’re all well aware of my feelings on Skeeter. The Muppets need her. You know it, I know it, Disney know it.
8 – Bernie the Agent
With The Muppets back on television, surely they’ll all need to rely on their talented agent, Bernie. Now, this is an obscure character, in that Bernie has never actually been seen. I’d love to hear his voice though, through a little ‘Charlie’s Angels’ type box.
9 – Bubba the Rat
Something that makes me ridiculously excited is the fact that Bubba the Rat made an appearance in a recent Muppet Moments video. What an obscure character to bring back! I have a lot of fond memories of Bubba, one of which involves ‘The Creator’ (Ryan Dosier). He and I were at Disneyland, and for some odd reason, the one Muppet quote we repeated all day (and the next) was ‘How you doin’? I’m Bubba.’
So, for that reason only, they need to bring him back.
10 – Gonzo’s Landlord
Part of this show will take place outside of the Muppet studio, following the characters in their day to day life. What a perfect opportunity to reintroduce this beloved unseen character from the 1985 home video Gonzo Presents Muppet Weird Stuff…
No? No-one agrees? Too obscure?
My thanks to The Creator for the idea, and to Kyle Mahoney for number 6.